Silence
by EowynSaule
Summary: Lily is sitting in the common room, enjoying a moment of complete silence in solitary. When she decides to go out though, she finds that sometimes, you don’t have to be alone to experience silence.


**Title:** Silence

**Summary:** Lily is sitting in the common room, enjoying a moment of complete silence in solitary. When she decides to go out though, she finds that sometimes, you don't have to be alone to experience silence.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, simple as that.

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Lily was staring out the window. It was still very early and the sun was only just rising above the great lake. The lake that you almost couldn't see anymore due to the heavy snow fall of the night before. Everything was white. The entire forest was white, the lake was covered in ice and snow and Hogwarts looked even more then a magical castle then it usually did. It really was a picture from a book full of fairy tales. Especially when, like now, the sun was just starting to show above the horizon. Lily shivered. It was cold here, but it was worth it. She loved winter, she loved sunrises and she loved Hogwarts. To her, the view really couldn't get any better.

She was sitting in the Gryffindor common room. Nobody else was awake yet. Which wasn't so surprising if you took into notice it was a Saturday and the Gryffindors had a party last night. Lily was sure she didn't go to bed until at least one o'clock in the morning. And she was one of the first to go. She sighed and contently listened to the sound of her breath. It was so wonderfully silent in here. That was one of the things she missed most of home, silence. At home, she could spend hours reading alone in her room, not being distracted by any sound. But Hogwarts was crowded and even in the library there were noises. This was one of the reasons she had taught herself to rise early. Just so she could have a few moments of peace, being alone, away from her dorm mates. Not that she didn't like them or anything, but sometimes they could just be such…. girls. They were always gossiping about boys, worrying about how they looked or something in-between. Lily had never really felt connected to them. Sure, she hung out with them but after a while they just started to get on her nerves. She always felt more comfortable around guys. Well, most guys that is. Because there was one person, she didn't think she would ever feel comfortable around, James Potter. That for the sole reason she had never experienced the way she felt about him with anyone else. In the first years, he annoyed her. The constant bragging and hexing people always got on her nerves. This became even worse when he started asking her out. By then, he didn't just annoy her, he made her furious. Somehow, he always managed to make her loose her temper. He really was a natural when it came to that. And now…. Now he simply confused her. He had changed. He had stopped doing all the tings that used to annoy her. He stopped hexing people, stopped bragging, and even stopped asking her out just for the heck of it. They were actually able to have a decent conversation now. And it confused her to no end that she had noticed, she liked being in his company. Because she had sworn to herself she would never like him even the tiniest bit. But now… she did. More then a bit even. Gradually, she had found she considered him a friend. And now, she sometimes caught herself thinking how it would be if they were more then friends. It annoyed her a bit, made her a bit angry even, but mostly, it just confused her. She just didn't know how to feel and act around him anymore.

The sun had almost risen by now. The light made shadows on the ice of the lake. Unclear images and figures in yellow-orange light. It could have stepped right out of a painting. A small group of birds suddenly flew up from one of the trees in the forest. Their small black shapes started making figures in the air. Lily's smile grew wider.

For a few moments she just sat watching the birds seer over the white. From the forest to the lake, from the lake to the grounds and further to the Quidditch pitch. At that point, something else caught her attention though. Apparently, she wasn't the only early riser in Gryffindor. Another person was flying around the Quidditch pitch in uniform, the red and gold colors brightly lighted by the rising sun. She knew it had to be a boy. The girls had slightly different uniforms and anyway, this person was too tall to be a girl. Especially if you took into notice none of the girls on the team were very tall. Lily started to watch more carefully, she was curious now, and had to find out who this was. It didn't take her very long. After a couple of seconds, he made a particularly difficult move. And Lily knew only one person who could do that. James Potter. She sighed. How did things always led back to him? She watched him a bit more from her place by the window. It really was a pleasure just to watch him fly. Lily didn't think she ever saw anyone fly with his grace. Somehow it just looked like he was dancing in the air, like a bird in a storm or something. At that point though, she heard some one coming down the stairs. So much for silence. And when she looked out the window again, she decided to go outside. Maybe she would even be able to watch James fly a bit more.

Not bothering to grab her cloak, she rushed out of the portrait hole. She didn't feel much for a confrontation with however was descending the stairs. She slowly walked through the silent halls. Most of the portraits were still asleep and she amused herself with watching them. Some people found it a bit strange that she could stare at paintings for hours, but being raised as a muggle gave her the ability to still be truly amazed by the magic every time she saw one. She had often wondered if there were any magical museums, but she had never found out.

Still thinking about magical paintings, she came to the exit and went out. The cold hit her and for a moment she thought about getting back to grab her cloak, but dismissed the idea immediately. The snow crunched beneath her feet as she moved slowly through the snow towards the Quidditch pitch. When she approached it, she could see James was still flying, again doing some complicated moves with a grace that made it seem easy. She couldn't help but smile. Just watching him somehow made her feel less cold. You could see how much he loved this.

As she entered the field and moved up the stands, he was just going into a deep dive. She sat down on one of the seats and watched his face become even more concentrated as he moved lower. As he pulled up, she released a breath she didn't realize she was holding and than frowned at herself. She knew he always managed to pull these tricks of without a scratch, so why worry? Se didn't know though, within this tangled mass of things she felt for James Potter, logic was pushed somewhat to the back. It didn't really matter when it came to him, something that she didn't like. Lily's entire life was based on logic. It had been hard enough for her to accept magic as a reality. But that was something she had at least heard of before; this thing with James just left her completely in the dark.

Suddenly, a voice shook her out of her reverie.

"Lily?"

James had apparently spotted her sitting on a snowy seat without a cloak on, and decided to come down to see what she was doing. She smiled at seeing the worried look in his face. It was cold, she would admit that, but he looked at her like she was going to freeze of something equal drastic.

"Lily, what are you doing here? It is winter you know, and you aren't even wearing a cloak. You're going to freeze if you don't go inside."

Lily just smiled deeper. He was so genuinely worried about her. How come she had never seen this side of him before? But then again, she had been rather blinded by his bad side to see al his good qualities. She probably didn't even want to see them. Hating someone without a good side was so much easier than hating someone who actually had morals.

"I'll be fine James, really, it's not that cold out here. I just had to get out once the people began to come down. I woke up early to get some quiet and I wasn't really feeling a lot for being disturbed again."

Well, that part where it wasn't that cold was a bit of a lie, as she was shivering and wishing she had grabbed her cloak anyway, but the rest was true. James looked a bit put out though.

"Well, I'll I won't bother you in that case. I guess I'll just go back to flying…"

He started to walk away, but Lily suddenly found that she didn't really want him to leave. Before she could stop herself she called out to him.

"No, wait. You won't bother me. Really, I would actually like some company; yours would be a lot better than most."

Now why did she had do add that last part. She felt kind of stupid saying it and looked down, trying to hide a blush. Of course, she just had to have a pale skin that blushed easily…

"Really?" James sounded hopeful. "Well, I suppose keeping you company wouldn't hurt." He was smiling now. "What were you doing anyway?", he asked as he sat down beside her after wiping of the snow on the seat.

Lily blushed again. "Eh, well, watching you fly actually. I saw you from the window in the common room. What was that dive you did last? I don't think I ever saw you do that one before".

"Oh, that was a Wronski feint and I don't really do it a lot as it's a seekers move. But I just felt like diving just now. There is just something about rushing to the ground at such speed. Has to do with adrenaline I suppose".

"Oh", she answered, not really knowing what to say to that. She was kind of afraid of heights and couldn't really imagine liking to dive with a broom, even if he could make it look beautiful. They leaped into a short silence. Lily was searching her brain for something to say, but there was really only one thing she could think of and that question was so loaded… But then again, why not? She really had little to lose.

"James, what exactly are we?" On seeing his confused look, she continued.

'I mean, at first we were classmates that didn't get along, and than we became something just short of enemies. After that, well, I suppose you were still my enemy, but this year has been different. We have been getting along and people call us friends and I actually really like you now, but… I don't know, we still have all this history of me hating you and you asking me out and getting on my nerves. I just don't really know what to make of it anymore.'

He looked at her for a moment before speaking softly.

"What do you want? Do you want us to be friends?"

Se looked at him and suddenly found herself thinking "No, I want more". But she couldn't just say that, right? Not just to his face, that could lead to a situation so embarrassing that she didn't even want to think of it. And than she looked into his eyes that were more sincere than she had ever seen them and she just wasn't able to lie to him. And so she said it anyway, immediately looking down at her shoes again to once again hide her blush.

"Lily?" He spoke, still in that soft tone. "Lily, look at me."

And so she looked at him. He looked as he was suppressing a smile, not wanting to be sure quite yet.

"Are you serious?"

All she could do was nod. Not really trusting her voice.

At seeing that he smiled, his whole face lighting up while he raised his hand to stroke her cheek and then, finally, kissed her.

And Lily found that sometimes, you could have silence even when you were not alone. And maybe, just maybe, that this particular kind of silence was actually the best.

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**A/N:** Well, it is currently 1:18 in the morning, so now I'm going to sleep. (With me, inspiration seldom comes earlier than midnight…..) But, when I come back tomorrow, I would really like some reviews. I am really happy with this and I would like to hear what you think. (And comments on how it could be better would always be appreciated.:) )


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